Now and Then...

So, I know it's been a while since I've written. I just didn't have it in me to do. I was in a state of transition once again in my life that I lost my voice and all I could do is just be and move in the direction I was going in. I have had more changes in my life. Take for instance, I came back full force to Christianity after 2 1/2 years of learning about Islam. Though alot of the same concepts there are some major differences. The only constant in me was my Faith in God. Whether people call him ALLAH or JESUS, to me, HE has always been the same So I called Him GOD and it seemed to be a good middle ground for both sides. In speaking I would never say one or the other but recognized him God as I knew him to be in my heart. I've been going back to Church and have always ready my Bible. So my post on FB have been geared towards my way of living now, my faith, and spirituality as it is now. I was always into religion...which ever way I walked in that path at the time. I engolf myself in learning, classes, reading and praying, eating, fasting being amongst the like-minded people. Even when I tested out being Jehovah's Witness. I feel they all gave me some "take-aways"... Well, today I feel, just a little discouraged I guess someone said to me... "you're really on a Jesus kick lately." And to me, it seemed like they didn't think it was authentic, or true to my being or my spirit. It saddened me that the enemy would try to discourage me through someone I love, though that is exactly what he will do. Because I know and love the Lord and I'm shouting it from the mountain tops using FB as a forum, or IG, or this Blog. If baffles me that people can go on line and talk about sex, drugs, drinking, and whatever else, and it's ok. no one says, oh he or she is sexing it FB up, or I can't believe she's at another happy hour, or all they focus on is self and haven't done anything for anyone yet, I speak of the Power of God in my life and how I've been changed and I'm not the same as I was before. That my faith is stronger and clearer in my life that it's "too much" or not authentic... It brings tears to my eyes. I can't really explain but you really don't know my story to know how deep in my faith I have been and the strength that God has said, He has not let me go and has always had me. So it may seem like it was just yesterday that it happened, and but I've been in this struggle for 33 years. The enemy has tried in so many ways to try to get me, and I can admit on severl levels I was lost not what denomination I chose to follow but in my way of life... I was found and I was brought back, For God, never gave up on me. I was in need of a healing in myself. I have been searching for something more when it was here all along. He said Look under a rock and there you will find me. Like, He's been here in my life all along. and to have those test and to fight back with the affirmation that NO, I've been in this fight for a while, and you are now seeing me in the now with all my battle scars that I are healing and you see the words of my testimony through my test, and you hear the message that I have to say what it is GOD has done for me. He has done great things for me. You just don't know. I am an example of all the good that God... I was brought to it... and HE got me through it... and I took hold on to his hand, Holding on even more tighter than ever before. I can not be moved because I know and can see the weapon that is used against me. But it won't work.