It's April.....

So far life has been good. I can not complain. I'm blessed...I have the best family, good friends and I'm hopeful for the future and love...I've been so busy lately it's good that this month I won't have to travel anywhere just need to study for this exam and now that my son will be going back to school (spring break is over) :) It'll be me, the laptop and my books and flashcards. So we'll see. I needed to buy another book but I don't think I will have time to study that... I'm just hoping and praying I will have enough notes for the test.

I know back in February I said I did not want anything on any level with anyone (I lied to myself) but I actually do and I think that statement was me having my guard up which it is still but not to the point that I don't want to see the possibilites of something real. I do want to have that one person that means something more than the surface or sexual..and I want someone to go beyond the surface with me because I'm more than that. It may take someone a minute to truly have me open up, but I will be as open an honest as possible because I expect that in return. I don't think that's too much to ask for. I guess I am looking for someone to learn to be my best friend...It's not hard to do when theres no hidden agenda. Most people out here have a hidden agenda and maybe I'll luck up and find the one that doesn't have one.
Just saw a commercial for Date Night looks funny...Irronically, what I haven't had before is a real date... I don't know if I would know how to act or what to do or know how to let someone be a man, because I've done everything for so long...just a thought... Then I'm thinking a date that doesn't end up with someone trying to get into my bed...Yeah, sometimes we all want alittle nookie but I want to get to know someone that person get to know me like I said beyond the surface because the surface of everyone we all seem to be the best but beyond whats on the outside what is there. Is there communication, a want to be around and enjoy each others company, going on an outting...I mean, maybe I watch too many movies, anyway....

what else...I haven't written a poem down on paper in a while, but I've written one in my head while driving but ask if I remember it now..... Nope! sucks that I didn't write it down. Anyway, I'm about to go to bed... hoping all is well with any and everyone if anyone is reading this... it could just be me and that's ok too. :)

Peace, light and love
~Marlina