I wrote a letter the other night. I sat here and I was listening to something, don't remember exactly what it was but I got to thinking and I got to writing. I wrote it addressed to God... It was about having a foundation to build upon and knowing the difference between having something that can stand on it's own even when the storm comes or having something that will fall if the wind blows it the wrong way. This is with love and with religion. I am in search of it.. First religion and then love but if one comes before the other it's fine with me. I just hope that love has a foundation and a religion...
I thought I wanted to be wanted; when all I needed was to be truly loved. True love is not limited to desires of the flesh it is the need of the soul and a pure heart. When 2 people put other things first in a relationship the foundation is not strong enough to get through tough situation or temptations and it will have an even harder time finding a foundation to build upon when those other things are covering the groud.... It's like, building a building; you have to clear the area where you plan to build; level it out; make sure you have tools needed; a team that will do the work ; and then you can put all the neccessary things down to build the foudation-bricks, cement, etc.For when the storm comes; the rain falls, nothing will break a sturdy home. But if you don't do all those things first and you build upon grass, rocks, and other things using all the same tools and the same team of people, it may look good, and all that, but when that same storm comes and that same rain falls, the house will drift away and eventually fall to the ground.
Picking up the pieces will be hard, patching the holes will go on for a while, it will only last but so long before it falls again. It just wasn't built right.
Love needs to be built on a firm, leveled out foundation. One can not withstand the storm when it relationship is being held up on one end alone and the other side comes and goes as they please... that one that is holding it all together will get tired and eventually put it down to let it fall. Team work, support, understanding, faith, GOD, Trust, unconditional love with out hurting one another... Peace of mind, not worrying about outside influences, a best friend.
I sat here and watched a movie today. Tyler Perry and it was on point. I can do bad all by myself. Had just enough to get it on sale at Bestbuy. I watch that movie and I thought, wow... Thank you GOD.. Did you answer my letter to you in a movie... isn't that something. No, i didn't go through the married man part, but the part about being with a man that isn't there for me or shows love the way I need it to be, or knowing what to do with my life. So what I may not have this or that, and times get hard. But when I finally do get the man i deserve, i will make sure my eyes are open and it will be built on a foundation of faith and love and he will be my best friend.
Now to the religion side of it all....I believe in GOD...
I am contemplating converting to Islam...I've done some reading on it on line and feel it fits me most. I believe that there is no other god but GOD...I believe in the teachings of Islam and what it stands for. I have been having a delima about being Catholic though not an active Catholic I know that it was the foundation I was brought up on So i can't deny that I am grateful for what I have learned but I do not believe all that was taught to me. I pray that I find the truth in what I am searching for...
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